There are two distinct parts to Slope Day: pre- and post-Slope. I submit to you the following for your pre-Slope game plan. (Look for Slope Day Part II — coming soon!)
(Mixologist’s Disclaimer: You should drink plenty of water and eat plenty of food and wear plenty of sunscreen. Red Bull and booze together probably aren’t good for your heart, blah, blah, blah. I’m not your mother, so I’m not putting that in my column. Use some common sense, or feel the wrath of Slope Day.)
It’s Slope Day. Did you …
Wake up in the mornin’ feelin’ like P. Diddy?
You might be: The Slope Day Sprinter
The Slope Day Sprinter (or SDS) is the individual who wakes up and parties way too hard way too fast. The SDS will probably find themselves drinking entirely too much hard liquor or gallons upon gallons of Keystone, passing out on a couch in their front yard, getting a sunburn and waking up barely in time for the opening act (if they make it that far). If any of these situations sound familiar, CRUNK JUICE might be for you.
2 shots Hennessy Cognac
1 can of Red Bull.
It’s gotta be Hennessy. Any better cognac is wasted on Red Bull; any worse cognac just won’t taste as good. The Red Bull should keep you from passing out at least till noon.
It’s Slope Day! Have you…
Sworn to yourself and others that this year you won’t black out? Did everyone laugh?
You might be: The Slope Day Warrior
The Slope Day Warrior (SDW) is the person who has been down this road before — and it wasn’t pretty. The SDW, while an experienced drinker, has the unfortunate tendency to drink like a freshman on major party occasions (Crush parties, birthdays, Tuesdays, etc.), usually coming home sans a major article of clothing, bleeding, or with a police record. They’ll stave off unconsciousness for a bit longer than the Sprinters, but if you’re heading to blackout city anyway, why not take the express train?
1.5 parts 151 rum
1 part Malibu coconut rum
5 parts pineapple juice
Mix and pour into large container, preferably a jug.
OMG IT’S SLOPE DAY!! Are you…
Trying to maintain maximum consciousness and drunkenness for as long as possible?
You might be: THE SLOPE DAY CHAMPION.
The SLOPE DAY CHAMPION (or SDC) has somehow managed to outlast us all. The SDC will wake up earlier than you, drink more than you, remember the whole concert and close down the bars Friday night. What’s the SDC’s secret? Decent-quality booze, good preparation and an unshakeable determination to disintegrate their major organs. The SDC’s key is to start slow in order to lull their liver into a false sense of security.
Uphill Battle White Sangria
1 bottle white wine (Riesling, Albarino, Gewurztraminer, Pinot Gris, Chardonnay, etc.)
2 apples (chopped)
2 pears (chopped)
3 oranges (peeled and segmented)
1 bottle champagne/sparkling wine (dry or sweet, depending on your taste)
The night before: Soak apple and pear pieces in a Tupperware container filled with silver rum or vodka. The morning of: In a large pitcher or punch bowl, place apple, pear and orange slices with a large amount of ice (reserve the soaking booze for something else!). Pour in white wine. Right before serving, pour in champagne. RLD
Original Author: Wendy LaManque