GLANZEL | Save Rob Portman and Kelly Ayotte

This election has been defined by the absurd. From Trump’s endless list of obscene comments, to Hillary Clinton’s “deplorables” claim, we find ourselves in the precarious position of trying to decide between the lesser of two great evils. Yet 2016 is not just a presidential year — we must also make the critical choice of who should take the reins of the Senate. In more ways than one, the battle for control of the Senate will be crucial to the future of our republic. No matter who the next commander-in-chief will be, we must face the reality that the Senate will have a crucial say over the Supreme Court, U.S. intervention in the Middle East, relations with China and Russia and the budget.

LEUNG | Call My Name

Some memories of my first few years of education still stick with me. Like in kindergarten, when one of my classmates spilled yogurt all over his binders and I helped him clean up the mess. My teacher, so surprised that a young child could embody selflessness, wrote a note to my parents congratulating them on their daughter’s unsolicited kindness. Or when, in first grade, I answered a certain number of questions in class correctly and was able to pick a prize out of the “treasure chest.” I was so excited. I remember rummaging through the gaudily decorated box, debating whether to choose the pink bunny puppet or the duck one.

EDITORIAL: Support International Students and Reinstate CPT

Last spring, the Cornell economics department decided to discontinue access to Curricular Practical Training work authorization for international students in the major. This decision will force international students to get Optional Practical Training visas in order to pursue summer internships and independent studies. The policy change not only makes it much harder for international students to intern over the summer, but also jeopardizes their chances of finding jobs in the U.S. after graduation. For many international students, seeking internships and jobs is already hard enough. After graduation, they must make a tough decision between pursuing and paying for a graduate degree and attempting the daunting task of obtaining an H-1B temporary work visa.

JAIN | NyQuil Dreams

It’s been about a month since we all came back to Ithaca and, naturally, everyone has begun to contract diseases from one another. Such is life on the hill, or whatever administration colloquially refers to campus as. From class to class, everyone seems to either be wheezing or coughing — so much so that one of my professors actually stopped class to make sure he wasn’t hearing things. Regardless, everyone is gross and I hate it here, but that has nothing to do with flu season. Some surprising benefits can be found during this wheezy period at Cornell.

RUSSELL | Saviors Don’t Need Sick Days

To this day, one of my greatest accomplishments is the fact that I was able to change my name in my eighth grade yearbook. To me, it was proof that I could reinvent myself whenever I wanted. The book just had so much finality to it — locked into history forever. If you journey into the depths of the hidden basement archives of Curtis Middle School right now, you’ll find a 2010 picture of a short and skinny black kid named Rusty Russell. Looking for Paul Russell?

LETTER TO THE EDITOR | Statement in Support of Our Fellow Grad Worker

To the Editor:
As members of Cornell Graduate Students United, we stand in solidarity with fellow student and colleague Marsha Jean-Charles grad as she navigates the graduate school grievance process in an effort to reverse the unfair revocation of her funding and “good standing” in her program. Marsha’s funding and good academic standing have been jeopardized by the poor review of a single faculty member within her department. Marsha’s funding and good academic standing were revoked due to a single bad review without the input of her special committee. Marsha’s funding and good academic standing were revoked despite a detailed letter from her dissertation chair indicating that the behavior catalogued in the review was anomalous and the processes that led to the funding revocation were problematic. It is illogical and unfair that Marsha’s good academic standing was judged based on a poor review from a single faculty member, who is not part of Marsha’s special committee and therefore has no direct connection to Marsha’s academic progress.

RUBASHKIN | God Bless Football

Full disclosure: I was going to use my column this week to announce my forthcoming presidential candidacy, but then I remembered that I once had pneumonia in second grade, so I guess I’m disqualified from ever doing that. All jokes aside, is America really going to hand over the nuclear codes to an unstable, self-serving sentient Cheeto because Hillary Clinton was dehydrated? Come on, people, a little perspective never hurt anybody. In other news, my beloved Giants took on and defeated Drew Brees and the New Orleans Saints in New York’s home opener. The Big Blue Wrecking Crew is 2-0 for the first time since 2009, Victor Cruz is catching game-winning touchdowns, Eli Manning is having his best statistical season ever and Odell Beckham Jr. is being Odell Beckham Jr. — life is pretty good for this perpetually disappointed fan.

DUGGAL | Disappearing Act

There’s a quip that goes, “If you want something done, ask a busy person.” It took me a while to sort through the implications of that statement when I first heard it. “Why would I ask someone that already has too much on their plate to get something done for me,” I scoffed. And then I got to college. My freshman year I struck up conversation with some kid in some introductory 500 person class Cornell conveniently forgets to mention they have in their pre-frosh handbooks. He was a sophomore chemical engineering major taking 23 credits and not regretting every decision he’s ever made.

DAVIES | Illusory Intelligence

The technical possibilities of tomorrow are just as incredible as those of the 1950s because they are real. Simultaneously everything is within reach and nothing. We use new technologies but few people understand their function. Machines, programs and devices on the horizon, rushing towards us, will be far less widely understood than would those of the 20th century, had they come to pass. It is conceivable that most people, with a modicum of study, could understand the functioning of a color TV or a flying car depicted in a pulp science fiction book.

LETTER TO THE EDITOR | Ending the Political Hegemony of Righteousness

To the Editor:
We have recently witnessed an upsurge in liberals and Clinton supporters devaluing large left-leaning segments of the population which are considering voting for third party options, or not voting at all, in the coming presidential election. Being a member of this ideological trend I am forced to respond to these attacks, to give public representation to a position which is constantly being decried. I respect those whose political choice is to cast their ballot in favor of Hillary Clinton, some of which will even do this against their conscience in a respectable effort to stop Donald Trump from winning the presidency. I, and many others, do not share that sacrifice, however legitimate in its own right. The mainstream liberals, clearly represented on this campus by the Cornell Democrats, however, have an egregious will to undermine our divergent political choices.