I was standing somewhere on a Friday night during my freshman year when a stranger asked if I wanted to hear the secret of beer pong. I don’t remember what he looked like, just that his face held an expression of profound serenity and compassion. “The secret of beer pong,” he said, “is to throw the ball into the cup.” I asked him what the hell he meant by that. “Beer pong is a metaphor for life,” he said. “What is it to exist but to throw a ball into a cup?
Colleges across the country struggle with the issue of high risk drinking. With their newfound freedom, undergraduate students are uniquely susceptible to dangerous drinking habits that can put their lives at risk and lead to a myriad of unintended negative consequences. Administrators and university policy makers are often put in the bind of adopting policies that both enforce laws and encourage students to be safe, while also recognizing the reality of alcohol use on college campuses and the need for pragmatic solutions that encourage students to request medical attention when it is needed. Our University is unique in the way that it addresses high risk drinking — largely because of its Medical Amnesty Protocol, which allows for students to call for emergency services and receive care, while removing any liability from other illicit violations such as underage drinking or possession of alcohol or other drugs. In creating Medical Amnesty Protocol, the University took a bold step to encourage students to consider their safety and well-being above the fear of getting in trouble.
Imagine you’re walking down the street, minding your own business when suddenly it approaches: something between the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and Will Ferrell with a tranquilizer dart in his neck, leaving behind a trail of booze, sweat and drool in its path. What a horror! You exclaim, as it slowly gets bigger and bigger, crying “mmmmmf I waaan sanwichesss! And peeeezzaaaa!” and as you dive to avoid its pale, blubbery, annoying wrath, you see it, and then you know: side boob. What we have here is a big, fat, mess.
After less than six months since its grand opening, the Green Café is already making a major addition to its offerings. This Thursday, Green Café, at the corner of College Avenue and Dryden Road, will be opening a full-service bar and adding alcoholic cocktails to its burgeoning selection of upscale food and drinks. According to staff, the bar will offer over 200 varieties of liquor, beer on tap and a special bar menu prepared by a new chef.
As you could tell from last week, I’m on a reflecting bender, which is something I like to call a reflender. But this week it’s turned into a productive exercise in my literacy. I did it. I read Things Fall Apart. I chillaxed with Okonkwo, finished up my Freshman Reading Project, only, approximately, 1369 days late, give or take. Again, since I’m on a roll in the spirit of reflending, Okonkwo and I have decided to tell the story of how things fell apart in my life, also known as “Freshman Fall.” We shall tell this story through a series of quotations that I found particularly illustrative from the book, quotations that did not make me sad when I hadn’t read the book before, because, in fact, it is the worst book ever written.
As the end of the year approaches, campus officials have begun a thorough review of various public safety measures in light of the University’s recent budget cuts. Representatives from the three colleges in Ithaca — Ithaca College, Tompkins County Community College and Cornell — met last night in the Africana Center for a panel discussion of the challenges facing their respective student bodies.
Being the drunk and stupid college students that we are, the dreaded hangover is no stranger to our weekend routine. Dazed and confused after a long night romping around in college town, I wake up to a huge slap in the face by Mother Nature. She’s apparently pissed that I put so much crap into my body. I guess warm beer after warm beer isn’t exactly her definition of natural. So I suffer her angry wrath: a splitting headache, a sandpaper tongue, a rolling stomach, and some weird ache in my legs from my abnormal urge to run around when I drink.
Alcohol.edu needs to add a new section because music has now been linked to alcohol intake. Results from a new study show that bar-going, loud-music-listening drinkers could be more likely to hug the toilet the next morning. Research done on the effect of music and alcohol consumption found that loud music leads to more alcohol consumption in less time.
Nicolas Guéguen, professor of Behavioral Sciences, at the Université de Bretagne-Sud in France led the study that observed forty 18-25 year-old males at two different bars in Western France. The results are currently in press and will be published in the October issue of Alcoholism: Clinical & Experimental Research.
A car traveling east on Rt. 79 carrying five students — four from SUNY Binghamton and one from the University of Michigan — crashed on Friday night, leaving one student dead and another charged with vehicular manslaughter. The students were leaving Cornell after attending the University’s Slope Day festivities.
According to the Ithaca Journal, 22-year-old Willie Poon was pronounced dead at Cayuga Medical Center on Saturday morning due to a fatal head injury.