By MIX MASTER MIKE
Sun Senior Editor
Have you ever wanted to learn every week from an ESPN personality? Now that dream can come true, the Cornell University Registrar annouced yesterday morning. Starting next semester, sports fans and athletes alike can take American Studies 209: Cornell Athletics in Culture. The class will be four credits and be taught by Jeremy Schaap ’91, who currently works for ESPN and will be named a Michael Schafer ’86 Visiting Professor. Schaap will teach the class Tuesday and Thursday afternoons from 1:25-2:40.
“This is an amazing opportunity for Cornell sports fans,” Schaap said. “They will learn about everything from Ken Dryden [’69] to [former men’s lacrosse coach] Richie Moran to [women’s lacrosse junior] Marla Diakow.”
According to Schaap, the class will be open to all non-freshmen, with preference given to American Studies majors and members of Cornell athletics team.
“This is amazing,” said men’s basketball freshman Ryan Wittman. “I didn’t think anything could be easier than being an Applied Economics and Management major, but I found it!”
Schaap has already submitted a list of guest lecturers, which includes Dick Vitale, Bob Knight, Ricky Williams, Anna Benson and the San Diego Chicken. Among the lecture topics are “Should We Deport [men’s hockey freshman] Ben Scrivens Back to Canada?” “Make Sprint Beer Pong a Varsity Sport” and “Why Daily Sun Sports Editors Shouldn’t Play Lacrosse (co-taught with Josh Perlin).”
“I am kind of a big deal,” Schaap said. “I was jealous after hearing that University of Georgia had classes asking how many points you get for a 3-pointer. I will go the extra mile and fill in the answers for them. Did I mention that my name is Jeremy Schaap, ESPN? Make sure that makes the article. Booyakasha!”
“I once had a love child with Jeremy Schaap after I [… inaudible …] him,” said Sun senior writer Paul Testa. “This is probably going to be pretty awkward when he comes back. That’s off the record, by the way. Stop writing.”
Schaap will be on hiatus from ESPN during his time at Cornell. A press release on espn.com says that he will replaced by porn star Jenna Jameson on Outside the Lines.