It’s a shame this is the last Overheard of the semester, as I am sure everyone is going to hear some amazing stuff on the slope tomorrow. Feel free to send me an earful for my own benefit, and maybe it will resurface in the fall — Overheard.firstname.lastname@example.org.
[Cornell Days Dorm Tour]
Parent 1: Have you ever seen a deer charge at someone before?
Disgruntled RA: No…
Parent 1: Do they go into the residence halls?
Disgruntled RA: Is this a joke? That is the second time I’ve gotten that question.
Parent 2: Are there maids to clean your rooms? [to parent 1] I saw a three-legged deer once!
[Chubby chick talking to her friend]
Chubby chick: … it will work if you weigh yourself in the morning. You’re lighter in the morning!
Girl 1: So he was telling me about this one transgendered girl he knew…
Girl 2: What?! A teenage mutant ninja turtle?
Girl 1: No.
Dude in Frat House 1: Dude, she loves dick and not even in a box.
Dude in Frat House 2: Yeah, you’re right.
Freshman: What’s Slope Day?
Frat Boy: Big concert this Sunday!
Girl #1: Thanks [takes quarter card].
Girl #2: Ugh! Why do you always take one of those? You’re just going to throw it out anyway!
Girl #1: Oh my god you’re right! [to Frat Boy] Sorry, I’m throwing this out!
Foreign Kid: Wait, so there was this dude named Roosevelt who was president, and then 50 years later he was president again?
—American History class
Girl: I have to pee real bad!
Bon Jovi look-alike: Ooo what kind?
Chick 1: My grandma wants me to look at other career options…
Chick 2: Really? Mine wants me to be a housewife!
Chick 1: Mine watches Montel re-runs. They’re empowering.
Chick 2: Yeah, my grandma watches Martha Stewart.
Guy #1: Aw man, I forgot my soap. Can I borrow yours?
Guy #2: You might not want to. It’s like been around my butt … and I guess around my face too. But do you absolutely need it?
Guy #1: Yeah if you don’t mind.
—Cascadilla Hall Bathroom