June 2, 2007

Tacky, Tacky, Tacky

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Today was the great quest for black ballerina flats of summer 2007. Though unsuccessful, I realized a few things that I wanted to share with the world. And by things, I mean tacky accessories that should not exist, or at least not be sold in overpriced department stores.

1.Why do shoes with clear plastic heels exist? They might be fun for Halloween or Tacky Formal, but these things were going for 300 dollars a pop, and were made by classy designers. I’ve finally accepted that silver shoes and accessories can be classy, if done right, but silver and plastic, together? That’s the worst of resort wear.
2. I will never, ever understand why people insist on buying bags where the label is as big as the bag itself. If a person has enough money to buy a 1000 dollar bag, then shouldn’t they be secure enough in their social class to not need to display a big, gaudy Gucci or Chanel emblem on it? It makes the bag look like it’s only worth about a 10th of its cost, if that. And this doesn’t apply only to bags there is no need for the label to be dominantly displayed across any item of clothing or accessory. It should be beautiful enough on its own (especially if you’re paying a fortune for it) to not need a big ol’, look-how-much-money-I-spent tag. Seriously, you might as well take a __ from rappers and just leave the tag on.
3. Little dogs should not be allowed in department stores. Leave them alone for one second, and they have jumped out of their designer bags and are chewing and peeing on everything in the store. Actually, on second thought, please do: it made my trip that much more amusing, especially when the dog’s owner gasped, “Oh no, Muffibins, don’t go whizzy-whins on the Manolo Blaniks!” I wish I had had a video camera with me, I really do.