September 18, 2008

If You Think My Shoes Are Cute, You Should See My Vagina!

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(Two girls talking to a friend):
Girl 1: HI! We’ve decided we want to become MILFs.
Girl 2: It’s kind of a life goal.

— Arts Quad

Sorostitute: Busdriver! Take me to [name of sorority].
Busdriver: *silence*
Sorostitute: I’ll SUCK DICK if you take me to [name of sorority]! There will be dick-sucking at [address of sorority]!
Busdriver: *laughter*
Sorostitute (to friends): I feel like such a whore…

Tech Career Fair Recruiter: So, are you an engineer?
Random Girl: Heck no, Techno!!

—  Barton

Guy 1: Little dyslexic today?
Guy 2: No! I think dyslexia is bullshit. Who just messes up letters?
Guy 1: …You are an idiot.

— Outside Becker Hall

R.A.: Hey! In America that’s sexual assault!
— North Campus

Religious Zealot/
Perpetual Virgin: The body is a temple. You wouldn’t cum on a temple would you? But masturbation is ok. Just don’t look at it while you do it.

— Collegetown Dorm

High-Heeled Ho 1: Your shoes are so cute!
High-Heeled Ho 2: If you think my shoes are cute, you should see my vagina!
— Collegetown

Freshman girl 1: So I made the executive decision that I’m not having any more random hookups.
Freshman girl 2: Yeah, I think seven if enough for now. It’s only been three weeks.

— Outside Trillium

Dry Guy: I think Cornell should be listed as a cause of alcoholism. Like, causes of alcoholism: divorce, job loss, Cornell University.
— Uris

Worried Girl: If I’m lactose intolerant does that change my milk output?!
— North Campus

Jessica Stitt ’10 contributed to this Overheard.