(While rock climbing in New Hampshire)
Climber Guy: … So the archaeopteryx was, like, the link between dinosaurs and birds.
Climber guy’s Girlfriend: So it could fly, right?
Climber Guy: Well, I don’t know but I would guess so.
Climber guy’s Girlfriend: The real question is could the pterodactyl fly?
Climber Guy: No way — of course it couldn’t!
Climber guy’s Girlfriend: Well it had wings …
Climber Guy: All I know is that the pterodactyl had bones.
— Base of cliff
Aggie: Yeah, I still gotta bleed my pig so I can do some assays.
— Vet School
Guy 1: Why were you looking for “the penis soliloquies?”
Guy 2: It’s just a site I like to go to!
— Collegetown
(At 1 a.m. on a Thursday night)
Angry R.A. in Balch: Could you please keep it down out there?
Gender-confused freshman chick: Suck my dick, Balch!
— Balch courtyard
Disgruntled worker: I used to have a tequila drawer, and then my tequila drawer was stolen.
— The Commons
Creeper stoner: Yeah, I was still sucking when it flew out.
— Lower Collegetown
Natty-Res major: I should get drunk before this presentation. That would make it FANTASTIC!
— North Campus
Small, bookish english grad student to another english grad student: I just want to say to him: fucking c**t, I’m going to cut you in the face … but I just don’t know how constructive that would be.
— Goldwin Smith
Southern belle, very matter-of-factly: My dad killed a fawn today [while hunting] … it had a broken leg; it was a mercy killing, but he’s still gonna eat it.
— Wyckoff Ave.
Drunk dude: Johnny O’s is now Johnny Closed.
— Collegetown
Girl, loudly: I can fuck any girl I want to and nobody will hear about it.
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