Athletic Girl (doing pushups): This would be so easy if I was in Avatar!
— Barton Hall
Didn’t Quite SEAL the Deal
Trivia Announcer Guy: What is the fastest marine mammal?
Contestant: Is it “barracuda”?
— Ruloff’s (Sunday Night Trivia)
Bird is the Word
Frustrated Egyptology Student: There’s a random bird hanging out in the middle of the sentence and I have no idea what it’s doing.
The Game’s Afoot
Competitive Chick: Whoever hooks up with him gets a peanut butter brownie from Manndible, and that is fucking worth it.
— Eddy Street
Don’t Tell Her to Roll Over, Either
Knowledgeable Girl: I don’t think you get a girl by petting her like a dog.
— Dryden Road
Holding Yourself In High Esteem
Classy Co-ed: Like, I’m in ILR … don’t tell me about being retarded.
— Drunk Bus to North
Original Author: Jessica Stitt