In the Dunphy household, an unknown smoke alarm is beeping due to a low running battery. Claire has a bad head cold, so Phil offers to take on all her chores for the day. Haley’s boyfriend, Dylan, comes to pick her up for school, and when Phil tells Dylan not to go near Claire (obviously so that he won’t get sick), Dylan misunderstands and replies, “Haley told you about that? It was just a dream!”
Cam is on the phone discussing both money and Lilly in the same conversation. Mitchell comes in asking, “Cam, did you just sell our baby?” In actuality, Cam is setting up Lilly to act in a local commercial. Mitchell argues, claiming that show business will prevent Lilly from having a normal childhood. Cam replies with, “I think that gay cruise has sailed.” Gloria and Manny come visit Jay at work with plans to go out to lunch. Jay is on a mysterious phone call when Gloria interrupts him. As Gloria and Jay discuss their plans for the night (Gloria apparently plans elaborate anniversary dates for every moment of their relationship), Manny talks to one of Jay’s employees in the other room about the forklift he drives. Almost immediately, the forklift comes crashing through the storeroom with Manny at the wheel. Home from the hospital, Manny says that he doesn’t remember much about the accident, except for the ambulance ride. When Jay tells Manny he never rode in an ambulance, Manny asks about the siren he heard. Jay’s reply: “That was your mother.” Jay also tells Manny and Gloria that he fired the man who let Manny drive the forklift, and Manny gets angry, claiming that Jay has no right to fire the guiltless man and storms off. Jay tells Gloria he thinks they should postpone their date. Haley has caught Claire’s cold and is now home from school, where she and Claire snuggle in bed watching soap operas—at least until Dylan calls. When Haley tells Dylan that she’s in bed with her mom, she is then forced refute Dylan’s supposed claim that “his dream is coming true.”
Phil struggles to get everything done and loses a sale on a house. Luke shows up in an astronaut helmet, very concerned about catching Claire and Haley’s germs. When Luke finds out Phil is not doing well at work today, he’s concerned. Phil tells him to repeat his father’s motto, which is, “you can’t get back on the horse if you never fell off it.” Phil worries about his fall from manliness that the mystery beeping smoke alarm teases him. He then breaks a nail and acts girly.
Manny calls Mitchell for legal help against Jay for firing his innocent employee, and Mitchell refuses, but while at the house, he finds out from Gloria that Cam went behind his back to take Lilly to the commercial shoot. Cut to Cam on set, who eats a plastic grape. Claire and Haley are still sick in bed together, and Haley finally hangs up the phone with Dylan. Concerned about Haley’s future with Dylan, Claire tries to use the characters from the soap opera to metaphorically tell Haley that staying with Dylan would be a mistake. Instead of getting the message, Haley thinks Claire is talking about her own unhappiness in her marriage with Phil. Phil is baking Claire’s ladyfingers for her, wearing an apron, and looking rather ladylike. The smoke alarm continues to beep. The ladyfingers burn. On the phone, Phil loses another sale. In the background, Luke tries to eat the ladyfingers with his helmet still on. A masculine hunk comes to the door returning Claire’s phone, which she left at the gym. Phil, still wearing the apron, goes in to shake the man’s hand, but quickly retracts his own hand in pain, saying, “Sorry, I burned my lady fingers!” Jay and Manny sit in silence, still angry at each other. Gloria comes in and reminds Jay of their exciting date, reminding him that she’ll meet him there. Jay, however, admits to Manny that he has no idea where the date is. Manny tells Jay that he’ll tell him where the date is if Jay rehires his fired employee. Mitchell confronts Cam on the commercial set about bringing Lilly behind his back, claiming that Cam did it to fulfill a childhood dream for fame. They continue to argue as the commercial begins filming, but they both immediately realize that they are shooting an incredibly racist commercial, stereotyping Asians in a Godzilla parody. In anger and disgust, Cam confronts the director with a great tirade about racism and stereotyping Asians as “interchangeable.” In perhaps the funniest moment of the episode, Cam storms on the commercial scene, still yelling about racism, and picks up the wrong Asian baby to take home. When Cam realizes what he’s done, the typical Modern Family awkward moment follows. First sentimental moment of the episode: Jay admits to Manny that the reason he can’t rehire his employee is because he put Manny in danger, and Jay has vowed to protect what he calls “my kid.” Manny is touched to discover that Jay thinks of him as his kid, and a truce is formed. Manny finally tells Jay that his date with Gloria is at the pier to commemorate their first kiss. Haley tries to use Claire’s soap opera metaphor to confront her mom about her marriage. In a hilarious mistake, Claire says, “he’s kind of a big doofus,” obviously referring to Dylan, but apparently to Haley, referring to Phil. Phil and Luke enter the room, still looking for the beeping smoke alarm and Phil is acting girlier than ever. He whips out his cheerleading baton from college. Haley tells Claire that she owes it to her family to stick with her marriage. Second sentimental moment of the episode: Claire confronts Phil, hugging him and telling him it’s okay that he had a bad day. Phil sniffles, and then claims it’s because he’s caught Claire’s cold. Overall, not quite as funny as last week’s Halloween. The funniest aspect of this episode, besides Cam’s incident with Asian racism, was Claire and Haley’s misunderstanding, especially in the credits scene when Haley warns the pizza guy not to come around anymore and seduce her mother.
Original Author: Lucy Goss