To the editor:
Ayyyyyyyyyy, you remember me — I’m that rando administrator who they forced to email you about not smoking on campus after New York legalized weed because we could lose federal funding. I just wanted to say that y’all are good. Blaze it. Light up some mad doobies. Sit on the Ezra Cornell statue’s lap while demolishing a bag of Takis and puffing the magic dragon. Idk how you young people say it anymore. I just sent that email cuz the narcs made me, my dudes. We gotta keep things on the dl, but go wild. Hmu if u got edibles.
Executive Vice President Joanne DeStefano MBA ’97
This piece is part of The Sun’s April 20 joke issue series. For more, visit https://cornellsun.com/category/four-twenty/twentyone/.