I vividly remember the first time I looked at the mirror, naked, and felt the desire to stare at my body. Every time I would step into the shower, I stared at my body for a while, doing a little spin for a full view. It gave me a comforting feeling to have a moment for myself to appreciate my body.
But that was not enough for me. At some point that feeling of wanting to appreciate the nakedness of my, dare I say, more than average body, transformed into wanting to be seen. Maybe I was overcompensating for never having a guy to experiment with or to explore my sexual side with, but I turned to taking naked pictures of myself as a form of exploration. And as people do, I did send some of those pictures around.
Taking nudes became almost a hobby of mine. I would take them every couple of days in front of the mirror or with the selfie camera, experimenting with poses, angles and even lighting sometimes. I became a creative mastermind obsessed with improving from my previous attempts.
I also became a little over-fixated with my body, taking pictures was bound to show the changes and fluctuations in my body in that spawn of time. But it also showed me how to appreciate the present.
And of course, my photography skills did come in handy when it was time for me to go on the apps and fool around. It is sort of euphoric when I get compliments on my hard work. When a guy tells me he was masturbating to my pictures: There is nothing as gratifying as that.
My standards are also higher now; a close up picture of a guy laying in bed holding his cock is tiring to me. Where is the artistry? Where is the passion? If they can’t make the effort to show their bodies in an appealing way, what level of dedication would they put into pleasing their sexual partners?
Our bodies are just vessels, they are quite literally objects. What I do understand is that our bodies decay with age. Newsflash: Your butt will sag someday. So why not make the most of our bodies now that they are — allegedly — at their peak? Regardless of the validity of that statement, it is true that college will pass by and there is no going back.
Time passes and bodies change but those nudes will last forever.
But not everything has to be gloomy and anxiety inducing. If you do decide to join me in practicing this art, have fun with it. There are endless possibilities of what you can do, at the end of the day you should feel like your body is desirable and that anyone shall be so lucky to lay their eyes upon it.
Do beware of where you store those pictures though, as it is always best to store them in a hidden folder somewhere, preferably behind a password. Please don’t be like me and forget to put them in your hidden folder, if not, you might risk your acquaintances innocently scrolling through your camera roll and finding a rather unique surprise. Seriously, they have seen my peach way more times than anyone would have liked.
But that shouldn’t discourage you. I have learned from my little accidents and now no photo goes outside of my hidden folder. I still take my regular nudes every couple days, even when I don’t send them to anyone. It is still just as thrilling as the first time. I have even expanded upon my old ways, the digital age is changing and even pictures are something of the 2010s. Multimedia is the future! But — sorry to tease — my sex tapes are a subject for another day.
So grab your phone and strike a pose — if you feel so inclined. And remember this: Your body should be an object of desire, not only to others but to yourself.
Jack Strap is a student at Cornell University. His fortnightly column Gulp Fiction is a discussion of queer sex life exploration.
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