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LORENZEN | CTB Will Reopen Sooner If You Wear a Mask

No, it won’t. That’s an absolutely preposterous statement. There is no causation between when Collegetown Bagels will reopen in its new Sheldon Court location and you wearing a mask. However, if you are among the growing, vocal minority of Americans steadfastly refusing to wear a mask despite the Center of Disease Control’s recommendation to do so in public spaces, then may I recommend you pretend that this false causation is true? If the tangible reward of Zabs motivates you to wear a mask when you go out in public, then I am here to tell you that CTB will reopen sooner if you wear a mask.

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LORENZEN | The Cornell Republicans Lied to Us

In an October Letter to the Editor, the E-Board of the Cornell Republicans lied to readers of The Sun. They boldly asserted that they “are an organization that relishes the opportunity to engage in good-faith debate,” yet when the national conversation turned to police brutality and the daily endangerment of black lives by law enforcement, they stayed notably silent. Their social media makes absolutely no mention of the murder of George Floyd nor any protests. Neither does their website. They have issued no public statement on the vitally important discourse on police brutality reverberating throughout our country.

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LORENZEN | How Are You?

Content Warning: This article contains mentions of depression and suicide. 

It seems like everyone you know is “dying.” Not literally in terms of heartbeat and body temperature. No, it’s when you ask them how they’re doing, and they tend to reply, “I’m dying,” “terribly” or with one of those sardonic smiles and tilted heads as they pantomime a noose around their necks. There are people who are genuinely doing well. They’re well adjusted, healthy, probably out running six miles a day, chugging vegan smoothies and holding hands with Martha Pollack somewhere. They do exist … And yet when you talk with any of your peers here and ask them how they’re doing, it seems most of them are unhappy and quick to tell you so.

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LORENZEN | Laundry: A Parable for the Ivy League

You go downstairs to get your clothing out of the dryer. You open it up to find that every article of clothing is still soaking wet. You mutter a seven letter word which my editor won’t let me print. You take out all of your clothing and transfer it to another machine which will hopefully work. You swipe your card and pay another dollar whatever to the ghost of Ezra Cornell.

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LORENZEN | This Semester, Commit to Ending the Illusion of Discourse

Last week, fellow Opinion columnist Michael Johns Jr. wrote a column entitled “This Semester, Commit to Discourse.” In it, he eloquently makes the case that in answering “that core question — how do I grow? — we must commit ourselves to spaces of political and philosophical encounter.” While I do entirely agree with my esteemed colleague and fellow Cornell Political Union member’s opinion on this topic, I must argue that it leaves a profoundly important stone unturned in discussing how we may, as a community, heighten political and philosophical discourse on Cornell’s campus. The truth is that committing to discourse is not nearly enough. I have found that, on this campus, there are three main manifestations of civil discourse. The first is the absence of discourse — that which Johns makes such a compelling argument against.