Columns

SEX ON THURSDAYS | What the Fuck is a Hookup?

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It’s Sunday morning at 11 a.m. and I roll over, hand slapping my phone to turn off an alarm that is blasting through the room and ringing in my ear, like God himself has placed a marching band on my nightstand and they are determined to play until my brain gives out. I need coffee and to figure out how to get the 190 lb man spread-eagle across the bed next to me home so I can actually finish the problem set I said I’d do on Thursday. A text sits unread at the top of my lock screen as I finally figure out how to shut the alarm off. “Did you have a good night and did you hook up with him?”

I start to write out a text explaining that I didn’t hook up with him as we had only made out and talked until 2 a.m., and then passed out unceremoniously on top of the blankets of my bed. Then I realized maybe that was a hookup.

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAYS | All of the Benefits, None of the Risks

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To many, millennial “hook-up culture” is a disease infecting college campuses across the county. If that’s true, then Cornell has a fatal case. Over the years, I’ve heard many people try to explain the particularly strong grip casual sex has on the average Cornellian’s relationships. “We’re just so focused on school we can’t possibly put in the time necessary for a healthy relationship.” “Everyone was a nerd in high school, so now that people actually want to sleep with them, they have to do it.” “Sex is the strongest nonprescription stress-reliever.” The root of the culture is likely a combination of the three, as Cornell students are some of the most driven, thirsty and stressed-out people in the U.S.

No matter the causes of this trend, what’s really important is how it affects the typical social resident on the hill. Do we benefit from this system of apathetic hook-ups?

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAYS | On the Naughty List

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Let’s face it, while winter break is our light at the end of the tunnel, around the eighth day most of us are five pounds heavier and absolutely bored with our nondescript home lives. Sometime during that second week of blissful boredom, you open the little, red-flamed app that you had promised not to rejoin. A few swipes later, you’re sitting in your couch wearing warm flannel pajamas for the second day in a row, stuffing your face with holiday cookies, feeling that red-hot holiday jingle in your pants. And all of a sudden,  you realize the holidays are actually stressful. At Cornell, you have the luxury of your own mattress and no parental supervision, so you never really have to sneak around (unless you’re into that, in which case, hell yeah), but at home privacy is a rare luxury.

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAYS | Toothy Head

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Often times, at night I lie awake and consider the only questions that really matter in this world. Will I be happy? Will I find success in my life? Do I have true friends? Do I give toothy head?

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAY | Kinky Boos

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Life’s too short to have vanilla sex. Now, I like to live fast and hard, so maybe this mantra is just a reflection of my lifestyle, but I have a feeling that there are a lot of kinky souls relating to this right now. For me, it goes back to my first kiss. I was 18 (I know, so much for living fast and hard), but to be fair, having to handle two  dominating parents and a course load  full of APs on top of a myriad of extracurricular activities was a  true cock-block. Anyways, I was 18, and after many summer evenings of eye-fucking a hot guy at my country club’s gym, he finally asked me out.

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAY | Tryst on the Thames

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I licked my lips as a drop of sweet vodka dripped from my frosted martini glass. Gingerly, I set the glass down on the golden bar and looked at my friend, pursing my lips, anticipating her next comment. “Got one,” she whispered in delight, and her eyes casually surveyed the rest of the room. This is the sweet hunt you read about in the naughty sex section of Cosmopolitan articles: lusting for sugar daddies. We sipped our £40 martinis in London’s most notorious sugar daddy hunting ground waiting to fulfill our perverted, narcissistic fantasy.

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SEX ON THURSDAY | How to Give Mind-Blowing Head

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In light of this week’s career fair, resumés have undoubtedly been on all our minds. And as we’ve all been updating our special skills sections, a lot of us are also probably wondering about the surefire ways to impress potential employers. I’m not sure I can help you much with that, but when it comes to impressing others, I have found that one of the best ways to do so is by getting down on your knees (and I don’t mean begging, because that’s just not sexy…in most cases). Seriously, knowing your way around a guy’s cock is a skill that’s in high demand and will never go out of style. Few things will make a guy go crazier than a pro taking care of his bad boy.

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAYS | The 10 Types of People You’ll Have Sex With at Cornell

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Cornellians like to have sex (I mean, have you read this column before?), and who can blame us? Between the never-ending stress of classwork, the brutally frigid winter, and the crushing fear that we’ll all end up dying alone, people here would likely explode (literally, in some cases) without the opportunity to fuck around a little bit. In a school of 14,000 undergrads — and 7,000 graduate students if you have a thing for that — Cornellians have their pick of a broad selection of sexual partners. During your four years in Ithaca, you’ll probably encounter a variety of snuggle buddies. Here are the 10 types of people you’ll have sex with at Cornell:

The First: It’s o-week, and you’ve ventured out into Collegetown with your 50 new best friends you met on your floor.

Columns

SEX ON THURSDAY | Penile Plethysmography & You

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It is a stereotype of male arousal that it tends to go one way or the other. That is to say, you’re either turned on or you’re not. While such platitudes are mostly true, they do overlook the realm of partial tumescence, the delightful stage in-between full erection and full flaccidity.