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No Photocopier Stomping Here

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Ten years later, people everywhere are still quoting the sharp dialogue and witty one-liners of Mike Judge’s first feature length film, Office Space, but the only thing people in Ithaca may remember about their trip to the theater on Saturday to watch Judge’s newest flick, Extract, was how loud and excessive the two people in the middle row laughed throughout the entire film. Sure the movie had its funny moments, but none deserving more than a chuckle. Certainly not the hysterical laughter the middle row was providing them. No, Extract won’t go down in history as one of the worst movies ever, it will just become one of those “forgotten” movies that get subconsciously passed over in Blockbuster.

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I Predict a Riot!

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Hey music lovers! Swine flu got you down? Never fear! We’ve got just the thing for you: Indie dance-rock maestros Ra Ra Riot, in concert at Castaways tonight at 9 p.m.! (Side effects may include head-bobbing, foot-tapping, uncontrollable laughing and crazy dancing. In some cases, these side effects may be severe. Please contact a medical professional for a foot-tap lasting more than four hours.) (Swine flu not included.)

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Memories of a Master

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When Cornell senior dance lecturer Jim Self heard the news of Merce Cunningham’s death, he was unmoored. “As a teacher, choreographer and person, Merce has been very imprinted on me. I knew he wasn’t there.”
After Merce Cunningham, the revolutionary American choreographer and foremost figure of artistic modernism, died in late June at age 90, his death prompted the dance community at Cornell to contemplate his legacy and influence on memnbers of the department. Some have spoken about the deep loss they have felt — often, despite their only brief encounters with the man.

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Voting Down the Malware, One Quorum at a Time

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When I finally managed to pull myself out of bed after an epic battle with the flue, an article on CNET caught my eye: Symantec Corporation, the maker of Norton Antivirus, is pursuing a new form of malware prevention that turns the self-mutating abilities of certain malware against itself. The new product is called Quorum. The best part of it all? It’s slated for release on Wednesday, which means if you’re sick with the flu and your computer happens to be in the same boat, then you can take the new program for a test drive.

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"Forcible Touching Incident" in Collegetown

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If you’re a current member of Cornell’s community, you probably received a CU Crime Alert Email Monday night regarding a “forcible touching incident.” If not, I’ve pasted it below:

“Cornell University Police has been advised that the Ithaca Police Department is investigating a reported forcible touching incident that occurred sometime this past weekend (Sept. 5-6) in the approximate area of the 300 block of College Avenue. The incident was reported to the Cornell University Police Monday afternoon, Sept. 7. The details of the incident are still being investigated, and suspect information is still being developed.”

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It’s the End of the World As We Know It, And I Feel Swine…

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This week, Cornell staff and students have been inundated with information, reported cases, and mass hysteria centered around the dreaded swine flu. Forget budget cuts and that there are now two salad lines at Statler – we’ve got the urge to oink.

But what did a little swine ever do to you, besides giving you a temperature high enough to miss your sorority’s annual wine tour? Pigs were dealt the short end of the stick, and have paid countless contributions to our daily lives. Need proof? I present…

The Top Five Pigs (Swine) in Popular Culture…

NUMBER 5: WILBUR (The Literate Pig)

It wouldn’t be right to have a pig countdown without this porker on the list.

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This Year, There's More to the State Fair than Grandma's Apple Pie

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Perhaps it’s America’s humble, rural origins that produced this backcountry entertainment, such as livestock competitions and baking exhibitions. Or maybe it’s just the personal desire to win that has driven generations of Americans to town, county, and state fairs.
By tradition, State Fairs are a recreational gathering of competitors and patrons alike, seeking their amusement from musicians and farming oddities, but there’s a reason they award ribbons of eight colors. Competitors have traditionally been driven by the desire to display the fruits of delicate labor and achieve the respect of their friends and neighbors.

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Back to School with President Obama

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In a sign of the times, there is uproar over President Obama’s decision to speak to schoolchildren and convey a message of studying hard and staying in school. Parents have appeared on the cable news stations crying out in anger at the idea that President Obama would dare speak to the nation’s children. First and foremost, Barack Obama is the President of the United States, a fact that eludes many U.S. children. He is the leader of the free world and is held to a higher standard and in higher regard than other politicians. Second, that the President wishes to dedicate time towards reaching out to schoolchildren is mutually beneficial and exposes students to the idea of nation and community.

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Blueberries in Boston

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I thought about The Sun once this summer. As I peeled a cantaloupe rind from the bottom of my favorite sandals and stared quizzically at the war scene in front of me, I thought maybe, just maybe, someone from Cornell with an aptitude for Boston culture could explain to me what on earth just threw down on Hanover street. While on a quest to the Italian fest on the North End, I think I might have been warped into a level of Yoshi’s Story, with melons and bananas and fruit of all sorts literally dumped and overflowing from the streets to the sidewalks. I stood dumbstruck and watched ravenous Bostonians on all fours scrounging through rotten fruit for a hopeful gem.