Arts & Culture

CHAZAN | 5 Reasons You’ll Cowards Should Get Viper to Headline Slope Day

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This article is dedicated to Alex Lugo, a good friend and Viper superfan. While the official lineup of musical acts for this year’s Slope Day have not yet been confirmed, the names currently under consideration are available, and they are all to a man mediocre. This is not shocking — an institutionally sanctioned college party isn’t usually going to feature boundary-pushing artists. However, one Facebook page sees an alternative. Labelled “community,” Viper for Slope Day 2017 argues that the eponymous rapper-cum-meme should headline the spring event.

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Music and the Mind: Why Listening is the Greatest

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Happy Slope Day Cornellians! I hope at least a few of you are still sober enough to read the Sun. And I hope that the actual sun is shining. Today is a more than usually auspicious day for my usually oh-so-humble column.
Why, you ask? Well, I’ll tell you. The reasons are twofold. First, today, as you may know, is Slope Day. It is a day about music. Sort of. And admittedly less so this year than usual. (Though T.I.’s fake gunshots may have been pushing it as well.)

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Get Your Dancing Shoes On

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Dig bright, catchy, Beatles-esque lyrics? Groove out to ELO’s symphonic prog rock? How’s a virtually private show sound? Right, so get to the Slope early.
Long before the Pussycat Dolls showcase their ample assets and Asher Roth confesses his inclination towards America’s university system, the Apples in Stereo, ripe with tight, riveting, relevant tunes, will rock the Slope’s punctual arrivals with a premium blend of neo-classic rock and power pop. The American rockers, veterans of six LPs, notched a spot on Rolling Stone’s Top 50 of 2007 with New Magnetic Wonder, a 14 track album linked seamlessly by 10 musical segues.

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Song for Slope Day

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As everyone is surely aware, the Cornell community will be celebrating Slope Day this Friday. The Slope Day Programming Board would like to wish all of you a fun and safe Slope Day and leave you with some advice:

When we come to Cornell we hear a great deal of lore,
Of courses, of parties and oh so much more.
Among all of these stories, one stands alone,
That one is Slope Day, king on a throne.
As all of our classes come to close,
Our collective love for this school most surely grows.
It’s all about hanging out with your pals,
All of the coolest Cornell guys and gals.
There’s no other day where we all get together,
Frolicking happily like birds of a feather.
So get to the Slope where fun will be had,
Really, we’re telling you, it’s totally rad.

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God, I Love Capitalism — but the Pussycat Dolls?!

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It’s become pretty in vogue these days to rant about the cornucopia of failures and shortcomings of the American capitalist system of the late ’90s that has led us to the circumstances in which we now find ourselves. Rejoice though, right-wingers and twelve year-old girls, because in this time of economic disparity, our peers on the Slope Day Programming Board have decided to illuminate, in all its scantily clad glory, the wonders of capitalism: the Pussycat Dolls are coming to Cornell.